Monday, March 14, 2005

Funny,Hunny,Bunny

Hello again,

It was since along time that I didn't post, ok I know, but u must forgive me since I am a busy student joining a heavy-duty college & very bad situation. So sometimes because of the shortage of my time, I forget to breath:)!!!!!

Actually I faced some troubles in the last few weeks, first of all, was my car, which had many problems in the engine. Although it is a new car!!, err ok it not a quite new err actually the model of my car is the model of 20th century, yes I know that the 20th century started in 1901 & ended in 2001 but it is still of 20th century. Ok if u insists to know, my car made in 1975 & that has make it 9 years older than me but I still the master :). However, she sometimes refuses to obey my orders to embarrass me in the street, and as wisdom said by Wiseman "that the car is like the woman, when she is new, she is like a ring in ur finger , but when she is old she will be like a pain in ur …".:)sorry, I heard this wisdom from the guard of our neighbor's house & I wrote it cz I hate my car :(
We bought this car in 1975 when Saddam's regime for the first & the last time did something good when he enables the people who had a Ph.D. to buy Mercedes cars but without taxes( Sorry but, did I mentioned that before?, that my car is Mercedes :)) but Saddam's regime didn't repeat his generous offer(this mistake :) ) again.
I wish I had a camera to supply u with recent pics of 30 years old car & let u see what time did to my woman (sorry car):). Recently I celebrated in the Golden Jubilee of my car by giving her a strong hit in left anterior side with Renault, Nice present isn't it :)

In this week I saw 2 cases in the hospital & I was successful in diagnosing one of them which was a case of a man complaining of right upper abdominal pain with changing of urine color to tea color & the case was Acute Cholecystitis(Inflammation of the gall bladder).. Can u see, I am really being a Doc.? :)
The other case was of a man too, complains of abdominal pain & swallowing (ascitis) & unfortunately, the case was a case of a malignancy. when I took the history from him he said that he is a teacher & lived in Al-Basra & he was a soldier during both Gulf War I & II so the Doctor related that Malignancy to the Depleted Uranium Missiles thrown on Iraq During the 2nd Gulf War & the last war by the Allied Forces.
I am sorry about him since he is 55 years old only, THAT'S LIVE!!!

I believe in an old true Wisdom that said
"It's not important to die, bcz we r all will die someday, but is important how to die" so I wish to choose the way of my death.


Well, I wanna tell u that Tigris changed its direction & now it's passing in front of the gate of our home, there aren't more than 3 meters between our garage & Tigris, but unfortunately it is too shallow to swim in but enough to suntan our skin near it. Actually, we didn't go fishing yet but I will do so soon as I want to cross the street to our neighbors on the other side. About my car, it is as a Titanic; sunk in the Pacific Ocean; & I as Leonardo Dicaprio trying to save my LOVE (lectures) from drowning so I lay down with my LIVE (shoes) to save it.


A new pool in Baghdad

Oooooh a new Tsunami in Baghdad


Don't worry it's not Tsunami, I am talking about what rain did to Baghdad, bcz of the bad swage system & poor maintenance to this system, Baghdad flooded with water with the 1st heavy raining this year & Baghdad become small islands separated by water, so every islands made their own party & their Island's Law & started to ask for their Independence !!!!! :):):):)
However, I wish that Sun would evaporate their dreams so as water to be united once again under the name of the United Islands of Baghdad (UIB):) :)

I watched some days ago the Operah show, in that show Operah sold some of her own things & one of the ladies bought Oprah's glasses for 2000 $, I don't envy but I want tell u that 2000$ can support 5 members-family for nearly one year in Iraq. Do u realize the situation or not yet?

This is the last post before my Mid-Term examination, so I tried to be funny before stress so I wish u found it funny, but if not try to drink 7up after finishing this post to help u digesting my jokes :)


Dr.Humanity
14th of March 2005




406 Comments:

1 – 200 of 406 Newer› Newest»
Blogger Mad Canuck said...

It's amazing the difference in the cost of living in different parts of the world. $2000 is about the cost of one month's rent for a small apartment here (New York).

Good luck on your exams!

Shawn.

2:06 PM  
Blogger Louise said...

Good to hear from you again, Dr. Humanity. Study hard. Stay focused. And rethink the business of calling your car "she" will you!!! LOL!!

5:55 PM  
Blogger Brian H said...

Don't get too exercised over the DU stories; if you know your chemistry, you know that Uxxx is toxic, but depleted uranium is less radioactive than the radon seeping up through the ground in many, many, locations.

So, what's wrong with your Mercedes? I thought they were supposed to last forever given proper maintenance. Have you been neglecting the old gal?

6:24 PM  
Blogger membrain said...

Best of luck with your exams Dr. Humanity. And a '75 Mercedes is a classic!

11:13 AM  
Blogger Rosemary said...

Dear Dr. Humanity,
I hope your car is doing well. I had a car named Sarah. It's okay to call your car a "she." Don't fall for that women's lib. stuff.

Sorry, Louise, but this is Iraq, not the USA!

I hope you do well on your mid-terms. I found your jokes to be relaxing and funny. Good job.

11:06 PM  
Blogger Mike O said...

Six of the new Bagdhad Islands applied for membership to the U.N.; 4 were accepted (the other 2 didn't have enough for bribes). Two of the new nations were involved in a dispute over right-of-way down the river/street. U.N. peacekeepers were brought in and figure they can resolves things in a decade or two. In the meantime, young women stay off the street while the Blue helmets are patrolling.

OK, OK; enough mental illness on my part. Hope things dry out for you; your car might catch pneumonia.

4:43 PM  
Blogger sueb/mn said...

Thanks for the funny story about your car and lots of luck on your exams. I enjoy your blog.

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Blogger KT said...

Well, if things don't dry up maybe you can turn your car into a boat and charge for rides into scenic downtown baghdad provided there are not too many holes in that beauty.

Enjoyed the post and glad you are well. Study hard and good luck on your exams. Stay safe.

4:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I used to have a 70's Dodge that would stall at the most inappropriate times. The honking around me would be so loud, I could never figure out if it had restarted. I hated that car for that very reason, but I also loved it too - it had great windows - I barely had to turn my head to see everything. My car was a "he" of course.

Good Luck with your exams. And remember, a person can drown in half an inch of water, so stay upright. Take Care.

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Doc..What's UP?

Hey, just trying to be funny. Hope you saw bugs bunny growing up or you won't get it.

I had a 1978 Nissan pick up. Very rusty. Only thing holding it together was spit and mud. Had about 178,000 miles on it and still ran until I hit 213,000. What more can you ask for?

But, old Bess died one day on the way to work. Started shooting gas out of the carburator artery (gas line). Nothing I could do to save her, she had lost too much. When I popped open the hood and raised the air filter, gas shot up out of the carburator and came back down on the hot engine, starting a small fire. My Bess had a fever and I couldn't put it out. She burned up her engine block on Kings Highway, leaving nothing but the rear tires and her license plate.

Funny, I can still hear the "rererer" of her morning start. She had a hard time getting going in the morning, just like me.

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Without a doubt, Lavender is one of the most useful and desirable oils. Not only does it work wonders on cuts, bruises and burns, it also aids sleep and helps with relaxation.

The Tea Tree and Eucalyptus oils are useful for treating a variety of respiratory ailments. These are excellent for the treatment of colds and coughs. They can be massaged into the chest or burned in an oil burner to help clear the airways and prevent congestion. Tea Tree oil is a natural antiseptic and can be dabbed on cuts, bites and stings. It is often used to treat spots and pimples and when diluted with water, acts as a mouth gargle (keep in-mind it should never be swallowed).

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Peppermint oil should also be purchased as it treats digestive complaints and may be used in preparations for freshening breath.

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The herbs, Thyme and Rosemary can be grown in pots and used when needed. To create essential oils from herbs, stew some large amounts in pure water, collect the steam and cool it. The oil will rise to the top of the drained water and can be collected with an eyedropper. Alternatively, a "flower still" can be purchased to make the job easier. Thyme and Rosemary are both antiseptics and can be used in skin care preparations. They are also delicious when used in cooking.

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